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There is a country beyond that which is known to humankind. A stray country. A country that exists west of October. Whose borders are somewhere between midnight train whistles and the distant howl of a dog. A country that lies somewhere in the stitched and jittering static between radio stations. A country that drifts through America like a traveling salesman, but every now and then stops to nest on a small town. A small church. A single street. And maybe, just maybe, some kinda delayed radio broadcast you’ve stuffed in your ears . . . STRAY COUNTRY is a fiction podcast. Original Novels. Delivered chapter by chapter. Come to the Country - www.straycountry.com. If you’d like to support the podcast consider leaving a rating, sharing it on social media/with a friend, or visiting my Patreon page https://www.patreon.com/ckturner See you in the Country . . .
Find out more about me
If you like my writing, you can support me on Patreon -
Friday Sep 24, 2021
Friday Sep 24, 2021
Friday Sep 24, 2021
Consider the following calculus. Two boys. Going into a junior high school after hours. To count the number of condoms in a dead boy's locker. In order to determine whether the boy smothered himself with a white plastic sack or was murdered by the ghost of a dead smoker looking for their very last Marlboro Red.
If this kind of arithmetic makes sense . . .
Welcome, to Stray Country.
Friday Oct 01, 2021
Friday Oct 01, 2021
Friday Oct 01, 2021
An evolutionary biologist would tell you humankind lost their tails twenty-five million years ago. The janitor of Bonneville Junior High would tell you it was lost sometime after Thomas Edison started flicking on lightbulbs across the country.
One of them is more correct than the other.
He may wander. He may ramble a bit. His voice may be cattle-branded by Phillip Morris. But there's a story in there. A tale about how humankind only lost their tails 100 years ago. And consider, if you will, what a tail was originally for - to keep from tipping over.
It's 1987. The world is feeling a little topsy-turvy.
. . . and we've reached for something else to steady the wobble in the carousel.
Friday Oct 08, 2021
Friday Oct 08, 2021
Friday Oct 08, 2021
Once upon a time folks looked at breeding money the way Americans look at breeding siblings. Something that shouldn't be done. A perversion. An act that takes a thing that's supposed to be barren and makes for bad offspring.
The janitor's about to review something I told you back in Chapter 9 -
Breeding money's how we got to plastic sacks
Although truth be told the janitor should have used the term 'inbreeding'. Because once humankind had wrangled a couple dollar bills they took to mating them like dogs. But don't forget. The first two dollars they started with were family.
It's 1987.
We're twenty generations deep in a bog of inbred genes.
If you've ever seen a white plastic grocery sack blowing across your tidy suburban street and found the sight ugly, grotesque, malformed, revolting or offensive to your senses . . .
if you've ever stumbled upon a white plastic sack stuck in the muck of a gutter and thought of all the disagreeable aspects of the frustrated, frightened century in which you live, this jangled century of trash and heavy industry and total waste . . .
Consider its pedigree. Consider the family tree.
Friday Oct 15, 2021
Friday Oct 15, 2021
Friday Oct 15, 2021
There is a slaughterhouse not far from your home. Chances are you've never thought much of it. Chances are it makes you feel safe.
Go for a nighttime stroll. Wait for the month of rain. Let the cold into your bones. And tell me whether or not you feel some kind of ancestral hearthstonian warmth swimming through the cone-sized glow of a street light.
They were originally put in for safety.
Because no matter how old we get, no matter how many atoms we split, no matter how much money we print, no matter how many steel birds we put in the sky, no matter how much we reign mother nature we're still afraid of the dark.
But on this nightly walk stop, if you will, beneath the warm soup of light and look up. Chances are you'll find a slaughterhouse. You see there is a horror story in the insect world. A machine that culls bugs by the millions. Located on every corner of every street in every city in every country. Something mother bugs warn their young about. Something father bugs feel calling to them. Something children bugs baste themselves in night sweats over.
Just how many insects were slaughtered to keep you safe at night? This is a cone-sized corner of Stray Country. A pint-sized lens by which to see perhaps the modern world is not as safe and clean and carcass free as it pretends to be.
Friday Oct 22, 2021
Friday Oct 22, 2021
Friday Oct 22, 2021
Have you ever considered what a ghost of our time would look like? A ghost from the world of today. Not something out of books. Not something out of stories. A real ghost. Perhaps, it would still be white. Maybe, it would still be wispy. But it would no longer favor graveyards. It would no longer haunt church grounds. It would grow out of the real world. The greedy, dusty, dollar-bill world. It would no longer moan. No longer howl. But speak in radio-static gibberish. Just picture it. A synthetic shifting face with the blistering scream of the advertiser, the clenched fist of the pit-boss, the desperate prayers of the manufacturing class. Such a ghost would reflect all the tangled and transient, uprooted parts of society. Reflect Americans who cashed out their churches and doubled down on office space. A ghost with the pig squeal of television-static in its throat and a vapid, plastic soul. The kind that would blow around behind office buildings, slip across four lanes of traffic, and hang off fences in schoolyards.
Just what would a ghost of today look like?
Perhaps it would look very much like a white plastic sack.
Friday Nov 05, 2021
Friday Nov 05, 2021
Friday Nov 05, 2021
Consider the sounds you've never heard inside a chapel. A gunshot. An advertisement. A politician. A smoker's drag. Pornography. Sunday football. Radio static.
For the churchgoers among us, past or present, consider if among the catalog of sounds you've ever heard inside a chapel includes a white plastic grocery sack.
Strange, isn't it, that an item crawling through every American rain gutter, blowing across every American highway, clinging to every suburban chain link fence has never come inside.
Almost as if God has an opinion on the matter.
Friday Nov 12, 2021
Friday Nov 12, 2021
Friday Nov 12, 2021
Friday night. The church is dark. Empty. All dust and dry silence. Two boys hide among the left-behind lint of good choir men and women. Nose to carpet in the strange downpour of scents. Ears open for the pig squeal of a white plastic grocery sack.
Friday Nov 19, 2021
Friday Nov 19, 2021
Friday Nov 19, 2021
Consider whether the world you inhabit belongs to you. Portrait of a quaint suburban street. Green manicured lawns. Polite little houses standing in a row. Pansies in the flower beds. The family dog on the porch. Children's bicycles left on the lawn, playing cards in the spokes. And remember, it's all on lease. A type of loan. Costing three percent on a good year and ten plus in a bad. Laprell Ferris, Ken Paul, Kim Gardner, Gloria Earl, Lyle and Susan Mumford may be the faces you see waving every morning, opening their garages every evening, but they are guests living in someone else's house. If they salt the city with their own sweat for forty years, maybe, just maybe they'll get to keep it. But if they fall behind in this dog race we call life the real owner will come home. A tall man in a dark suit. A cheap man. A nickel and dime man. A man without a face. Without a heart. A man nobody ever sees but by what his hands soiled in the grime of dollar bills do - which is take, and take, and take some more. Because to you this may be a 'home', but to him it's only a commodity. An indistinguishable good. Something to be bought, sold and traded in open markets. Same as corn. Same as salt. Same as grain, gold, beef and gas. If his transient treatment of the American family's roots disturbs you, perhaps you'll understand why white plastic grocery sacks follow in his wake.
Perhaps you'll understand why suddenly, the boys don't want to go home.
Friday Dec 03, 2021
Friday Dec 03, 2021
Friday Dec 03, 2021
Let us credit the Mormons with bringing the churches to the suburbs. For building brand new churches in a brand new world. America moves to the suburbs, and the Mormons followed suit. Because Mormonism always was a frontier religion. A religion looking west. A religion that got out ahead of the roads. A religion that saw a city in a dried-out primeval lake bed.
And the rest of Christianity followed suit.
But if you've noticed God doesn't quite have the sway he used to. If you've noticed prayer just isn't a punchy as it once was. If you feel like there is radio static when you tune your ear to Heaven. If you've ever felt like Old Scratch mechanized sin for the industrial age - you might consider the cost of dilution. If spreading worship and prayer, psalmody and communion across too many chapels built too quickly have spread God's grand fist too thin.
Friday Dec 24, 2021
Friday Dec 24, 2021
Friday Dec 24, 2021
Consider the most silent character of the American horror film. The character always sketched in silhouette high on a hill. As stark and tall as Mother Bates. As ramshackled as a cannibalistic family of killers in west Texas. As small-town boring as Judith Meyers. There's a reason the house is center of American horror. It tells us who's inside. It tells us with its gables, with its eaves, with its rain gutters & with its windows. With its porches & with its storm doors. If you listen, it'll whisper.
Pack 100 of them together on a converted plot of farmland and what might they say, whimpering all at once? Maybe something about the animals inside. Hungry beasts with bottomless stomachs growling like chainsaws. Beasts a lot like pigs.
Friday Jan 07, 2022
Friday Jan 07, 2022
Friday Jan 07, 2022
There's a little story about a family in west Texas who learned the gross skill set of butchery in order to survive in the capitalist world. This same family was later replaced by machines. Country folk who bent their minds to slaughter for a place in the world and the world spat them out once they were no longer needed. Some folks called them killers. And be assured, killers they were. But let us consider another term for such folks - victims of industrial capitalism.
If a ramshakled family of cannibalistic killers in a derelict farmhouse in west Texas horrifies you, maybe you should have a good long look at the road we're on. Because there is no outlet this way. Only the dead-end of the industrial capitalistic experience.
Friday Jan 14, 2022
Friday Jan 14, 2022
Friday Jan 14, 2022
.- -.-. .- .-. --- ..- ... . .-.. ..-. --- .-. .--. .. --. ...
Friday Jan 28, 2022
Friday Jan 28, 2022
Friday Jan 28, 2022
Imagine, if you will, you are being followed by a white plastic grocery sack.
What would such a thing want from a person? Sacrifice? Worship? Or just fear? What could you do to stop it from troubling you?
Friday Feb 11, 2022
Friday Feb 11, 2022
Friday Feb 11, 2022
Let the record state that there was something impressively abnormal about the Janitor’s childhood. From perhaps his third to ninth year he was what we might call a sensory prodigy. The ability to see through walls, read letters through envelopes, books through their covers. Fence and play ping-pong blindfolded, find things that were buried, read thoughts.
While night may be a blindfold to the rest of us the janitor’s got a kind of sight the sun doesn’t set on. While our polite little houses sown in neat little rows may be a pair of blinders for all, he can see through it still. The type of man who could look over our tiny little world of tarred roofs, tarred roads and smoking bricks and see something amiss.
anything amiss . . .
Friday Feb 25, 2022
Friday Feb 25, 2022
Friday Feb 25, 2022
Billy, Jack and a janitor. Staring at a junior high school window. Hoping . . . wishing . . . sweating . . . maybe, even praying the only thing out there is night. Stray cats. Slumbering houses. Autumn leaves. November wind . . .
Friday Apr 22, 2022
Friday Apr 22, 2022
Friday Apr 22, 2022
Commonplace – if somewhat strange – unsocial location known as a janitorial closet. On the short list of places to hide. Absent from the list of places to wax philosophical. But this is the very place the janitor of Bonneville Junior High has been rubbing two thoughts together for years seeing if they catch fire. The janitorial closet. The halls. The bathrooms. His own bush-league ivory tower. His mop a lectern podium.
Today’s lecture -
How come the churches aren’t as churchy as they used to be?
Friday May 13, 2022
Friday May 13, 2022
Friday May 13, 2022
Portrait of a smokestack at work, the only work it’s ever known, doing the same work as Mrs. Mary Brogan at the sacrament of her religion – the strange Church of Phillip Morris. Consider, if you will, whether or not a smokestack and a church steeple really are so dissimilar.
In the rolling mills and sheet mills, in the harr and boom of the blast fires, iron and carbon are pounded into a bar of steel. By the process smoke comes out the stacks.
In the rolling pews and sheetmetal chapels this Sunday, like every Sunday before, sit iron men and carbon women. People taking a pounding. Ready to be alloyed. A fiery process that turns sinners into saints. A process that uses the hammer of the Holy Bible, the flame of the Holy Spirit, and certainly, most definitely, must send smoke up the chimney – or in this case – steeple.
Remember, you can’t see men shucking sin. You can't smell a woman’s prayers. You’ll never find the molt of a person’s mistakes. But that doesn’t mean that a church isn’t a refinery making angels out of men. Angels made from clay, fired by a ghost, with a byproduct of smoke going somewhere. . .
Friday Jun 03, 2022
Friday Jun 03, 2022
Friday Jun 03, 2022
Phillip Morris. R. J. Reynolds.
Competing denominations of the same religion.
Which is to say the religion of angel making. Churches who took the doctrine of the Good Book – dust unto dust – quite literally in forming their religion.
A religion dedicated to many things, but above all the conversion of men and women to dust.
And though both denominations are dedicated to the cause let it be known it is R. J. Reynolds who’s made the most angels.
Because R. J. Reynolds’s sermonized cigarettes would become the greatest angel makers of all time. 50 years before Mary Poppins would teach us all ‘a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down’ R. J. Reynolds had already learnt the lesson. You see, sugared tobacco has a transmutative power coveted by Jesus Christ himself. It takes a doctrine that’s very hard to swallow and makes it easy to inhale. Yes, R. J. Reynolds’s and his candied tobacco figured out how to get his religion into people’s lungs, not just their mouths. Convert a man’s mouth and they’ll sing your hymns. Convert a man’s lungs and he’ll give you every last breath he’s got.
But religion, as in life, is as much discovered by pure happenstance and chance. The specific valence of sugar-soaked tobacco opening the floodgates on folk’s lungs is owing to a strange, sad, and singular fact - an aspect of R. J. Reynolds’s American heritage. One the janitor is about to harp on -
Because pound for pound sugar was cheaper than tobacco.
Friday Jul 01, 2022
Friday Jul 01, 2022
Friday Jul 01, 2022
Ritual you’ve seen before. One of the coarsest threads in this curious American tapestry. Once upon a time practiced on occasion, by accident, via cattle-drivers scratching their names in the American dirt. Codified and enshrined by the motion picture camera for a generation. Two men. A couple guns between them. An itch in their fingers. Dust in the air. And American’s most sunburnt backdrop behind them. Now updated for the suburban era. A janitor in one corner. A white plastic sack in the other. A junior high school the new American vista. And a swinging lightbulb keeping time.
Friday Aug 05, 2022
Friday Aug 05, 2022
Friday Aug 05, 2022
Family reunion of sorts. The kind that pulls distant cousin into each other’s orbit. We’re a long way from summer. A long way from fried chicken in a bucket in a park. A long way from a family tree in the corner connecting the vague lines between people. It’s November. Long after dark. The long dark of a junior high school hall. Two boys and a janitor are about to learn a white plastic grocery sack and a light bulb are distant cousins, once removed.